Currently Listening to: Chocolate, by The 1975
Greetings from sunny Florida. Actually it’s one a.m. so not so sunny right now…
Anyway I just wanted to wish everyone a happy Black Friday. It happens to be my favorite holiday. I never could resist a good deal.
I also wanted to share some anecdotes about my journey down south. As I walked out on to seventh avenue Thursday morning I noticed a strange silence. There were only three other people on the street! I thought “This is Fabulous!” “No one will be on the train!”
There was standing room only all the way from Penn Station to the Airport. It seemed that the lack of people on the street was due to the fact that they were ALL ON THE TRAIN.
So I get to the airport and am relieved to be rid of the packed train car, only to walk to the air train and jump into a brand new packed car. Only this car had no seats and moved at approximately 2 miles an hour.
So everything from there goes smoothly. I got a pasta salad to have as lunch on the flight and a bottle of Snapple lemon iced tea. My family and I are boarding the plane and we are talking amungst ourselves when all of a sudden the woman in front of us turns and jumps right into the conversation. WHO INVITED YOU TO JOIN IN!?
At this point I don’t know what to do. I’m not mean enough to ignore a perfect stranger who, for all I know, could be a really nice lady. But deep down I know that she’s the type of woman that just has to talk to people wherever she goes. This type of woman will interject into an unexspecting party’s conversation and add many of her own personal anecdotes to the conversation. None of this will interest you but non the less you are stuck with her the rest of the time you wait in line together and you are obligated to smile politely and nod your head along with her stories.
And so, I smiled at her as she interjected and of course she turned out to be the talk-to-people-wherever-she-goes woman. For the remainder of our time waiting in line to board the train she talked my ear off about how many shoes her daughter brought with her, and how her son was in his second year of college, and they were going to Florida for a wedding, and blah blah blah I DON’T GIVE A RATS ASS. The worst part was that the whole time we were standing there her family was standing right in front of us backs facing me not saying a word. We are talking the silence before something jumps out at you in a horror movie silence. I’m over here waving the red flag yelling S.O.S.!!!! and nothing. radio silence. How could they be so crewel?
I get to my seat and we are starting to roll down the runway when I spot a new born baby sitting in the row right in front of me. Oh my god is that little bundle of joy going to scream when this plane takes off. We are in the air. We are flying. We are really high now. And….nothing, I hear nothing. That baby held it together man, he was a saint. He was adorable.
Now it’s time for lunch. I pop open my pasta salad and BAM the strongest garlic smell ever smacks me in the face. I quickly close the container. Shit. How am I supposed to eat a disgusting smelling meal when 30 people are in my close proximity. That is just rude. But, I’m so hungry. I lift up the lid and take a bite. oh yum that’s good. I close the lid. This repeats for another half an hour untill I’m feeling quite satisfied. It’s only then that I realize how awful the pasta salad tastes. I was so hungry that I didn’t process the bitter taste of the food. I reach for my Snapple to try and wash it down. I take a sip and GAG it’s diet Snapple. Not only is Diet Snapple disgusting on its own but pair it with a garlicky pasta salad and you are done for. I suffer with this terrible taste for the rest of the flight.
We land in Florida.
P.S. Please watch this video. It made my night.